How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

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Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you say to a person who calls a black fence a gate?

No, a fence.

What do you call a person who loved tractors but doesn't any more?

An extractor fan

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why Did Superman Save a Burning Chemistry Lab?

He was trying to save Krypton

What did one candle say to the other?

Don't birthdays burn you up "

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did Raekwon tha Chef get fired from his job at an oyster bar?

Cuz Wu Tang Clan got nuttin' to shuck with.

What did the dog say to the fireman?

The roof is on fire.

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

How bad are they?

Doctor: It depends, how old are you Patient: I will be 24 soon. Doctor: Pffff, no you won't.

What do grandparents smell like?

Depends"

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

Why is the set including the square root of 5 and the square root of 4 similar to the set including anarchism and authoritarianism?

They are both unlike radicals.

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

How do fireflies lose weight?

They burn calories.

Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.