How many dead-heads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just let it burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

How are that many Republicans candidates supposed to debate each other at once?

Throw a dollar bill in the floor and let the last one alive run for president.

Why did the pirate have to change wenches?

His old one wouldn't let him swab her poop deck.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why did the woman leave her overweight husband unconscious in a burning building?

Because she couldn't stand him.

What did the beaver say when his house burned down?

Damn

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.

How many Brazilians does it take to change a lightbulb?

One Brazillion.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many mottophobics does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Who do you think broke the filament in the first place

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

No one knows it's never happened.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

How many years before we forget if 9/11 was in '00 or '01?

15 or 16

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

Why is it called Justice League of America?

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

What do you do if a purple elephant and a multicolored horse are following you?

get off the merry-go-round! :)