How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing?

Four. One to cut the hole in the ice and three to push the boat through.

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Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words ;)

How did the pirate fix the hole in his pants?

He used an eyepatch

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How was the roman empire cut in half?

With a pair of caesars

How does a Mexican cut their pizza?

Little Caesars

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit?

He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

What did the captain say to the men before they got on the boat?

Men, get on the boat."

What kind of boats do smart people ride on?

Scholar ships!

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

Why should you never tell jokes on the ice?

The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker.

What did the eskimo say when her water broke?

Oh no, my ice cracked!