How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

How's everyone else holding up?

Anyone know why they all have bags of candy

What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What did the mayonnaise say to the man opening the fridge door?

Don't look. I'm dressing."

Which program do Jedis use to open PDF files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi.

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

Why did Suzie fall down the stairs?

I pushed her

Why do the Lannisters have such big beds?

They push two twins together to make a king.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What's worse than finding a caterpillar in your apple?

Finding half a caterpillar in your apple

Why did the half blind man fall in the well?

Because he couldn't see that well!

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What do you call a black guy at college?

A miracle. Edit: I've hidden this post as I realized it was stupid and too offensive. I'm sorry, it was overly racist.

Chip Jokes More Chip Jokes

What happens to a plate made out of cookies when you drop it?

It chips.

How did the lawyer chip his tooth?

The ambulance slammed on its brakes.