How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine.

Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What do you call presents after you've opened them?

Pasts

Why were the ants dancing on top of the jar of jam?

It said "twist to open"

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

Why are you always pushing me around and talking behind my back?

I said, "well, you are in a wheelchair".

What do you call someone who pushes people down stairs?

A stairorist.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What do you call something that is half horse and half pig?

A mounted police officer

How do you know the rules of football was written by an Italian?

You switch sides at half time.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

How many times should you try starting your snowblower before you realize it's not going to start?

According to my neighbor it's 458 times.

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

Chip Jokes More Chip Jokes

Why do Kenyans always win marathons?

At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-

How do you fit 3 babies in a bowl?

Blender. How do you get them out? Chips.