Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?

Never mind...it's tearable

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks (I heard this forever ago and wanted to share. Sorry if it happens to be a repost.)

What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

What did the Zionist rabbi say when he heard about the plight of the Palestinian people?

Never mind their wailing. We'll just build more walls!

What's the one thing a hoarder has no trouble letting go of?

Their mind

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why is this joke bad for the environment?

Because it wasn't recycled.

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee?

Because they're all dead

What did you hear about the tree who was in love?

He pined everyday.

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

How do you get Amy Schumer, Rosie O'donnell and Lena Dunham to move to Canada?

Piece of cake.

What screams "Allah Akbar" and then smashes your crockery to pieces?

A Daesh washer.

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper ?

You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant !

Why do they ask you if you want paper or plastic at the supermarket?

Because baggers can't be choosers.