What did Jesus said to his girlfriend in the morning?

Damn, you really nailed me last night.

This joke may have profanity.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why didn't Jesus play during the Isreal-Palestine soccer game?

He got suspended.

Why did Jesus get a ticket?

He tried to skip the Cross walk.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and his portrait ?

His portrait only need one nail

What's the hardest part about making a manicure joke?

You really have to nail it

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.

What do you say to your girlfriend with two black eyes?

Nothing. You already told her twice.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What do you call a German barber?

Herr Kutz (This was funnier when I was half asleep this morning)

Why are cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning?

Because they're let out in the evening and taking in in the morning !

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

How did the astronaut land on the sun?

He went at night.

Why are there so many dumb blonde jokes?

it gives brunnettes and redheads something to do on friday and saturday nights!