What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!

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What do you find in an empty nose?

Fingerprints.

What's the shortest way to the front page?

Up vote to find out.

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How do people see so much on internet these days?

They put on the Google!

What's Beethoven up to these days?

Decomposing

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What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!

Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay?

Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How is this possible?

Shannon died in a car accident.

What do you call a hundred year old man who dies in the library?

Overdue

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape so Christians can't claim God did it.

What do you get when you mix a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist?

Someone who shows up to your door for no reason.

Pearly Gates Jokes More Pearly Gates Jokes

What does the atheist say when he arrives at the Pearly Gates?

I'll be goddamned.

What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!