What did the melon say to his daughter after she tried to get married?

You cant-elope!

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How many times should you try starting your snowblower before you realize it's not going to start?

According to my neighbor it's 458 times.

What do kids yell at old people who are just trying to play?

GET OFF MY LAN!

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How do you turn a fox into a whale?

Marry her.

Why do people get divorced in the holiday season?

Because they Marry Christmas!

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How does Homer Simpson say watermelon in French?

Melon D'OH

Why do melons have traditional weddings?

Because they can't elope!

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What would be a good name for my daughter who is a synth?

Synthia

What did Michael Jackson almost name his daughter?

Nata-LEE-HEE!

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What did the melon say to his daughter after she tried to get married?

You cant-elope!

What is a homophobe's favorite fruit?

Cant-elope.