Melon Jokes

What do Romeo and Juliet have in common with melons?

They both cantaloupe.

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Why didn't the melons get married?

Because they cantaloupe...

Why have no melons ever gotten married in Vegas?

Because they can't elope!

Why do the melons have to have a traditional marriage ceremony?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why are melons so lonely?

Because they cantaloupe

Why didn't the melons get married in Vegas?

Because they cantaloupe. This joke was brought to you by Dads inc.

Why couldn't the man marry the melon?

It was a cantaloupe.

What do you call a melon that will be single forever?

Cantaloupe

What do you get if you water a melon?

a wet melon.

Why do melons have fancy weddings?

Because they cantelope!

What did the melon say to his daughter after she tried to get married?

You cant-elope!

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What are Kierkegaard's two favourite fruits?

Melon and Broccoli!

Why was the farmer disappointed when he tried to marry his prized melon?

Because the minister wouldn't marry the two, since a melon can't elope!

Why couldn't the two melons go to Las Vegas for their wedding?

Because they're cantaloupes.

Why did the melon insist on having a big wedding?

Because it cantaloupe.

What did the melon say to the banana when it proposed?

Yes! But we cantaloupe.

Why can't the two melons get married?

I don't know but they cantaloupe.

What do you call a melon that's had a bit too much to drink?

A Watermelon...

What do you have when life gives you melons?

Dyslexia.

What do you call a melon with overbearing parents?

cantaloupe )

What kind of melons always have big weddings?

Cantaloupe.

Why do melons insist on having big weddings?

Because they just cantaloupe.

Why would two melons in love hate their parents?

Because they cantaloupe. =D.....=).....=='(

Why couldn't the melons run away and get married?

They cantelope.

Why do melons have traditional marriages?

Because they cantaloupe

What did the melon tell her boyfriend when he proposed?

Yes but we cantaloupe.

What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?

The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli.

Why do melons always have traditional weddings?

They cantaloupe.

Why do melons always have big weddings?

Because they can't elope.

How does Homer Simpson say watermelon in French?

Melon D'OH

Why do melons have traditional weddings?

Because they can't elope!

Why don't melons ever run away and get married?

Because they cantaloupe!

Why do melons always have well planned weddings ?

They can'telope !

What should you do when life gives you melons?

Get tested for dyslexia.

What type of melon would Romeo and Juliet have been?

Cantaloupe.

What do you call a watermelon in California?

A melon

Why did the melon leave her boyfriend?

He said he can't elope.

Why did the melon break up with her melon boyfriend?

He told her he *can't elope*.

Why doesn't the melon get married?

Because it cantaloupe.

What did the one melon say to the other melon?

We're too young to marry. We cantaloupe.

Why couldn't the melons be together?

Everyone knows melons cantaloupe.

What did one Melon say to the other after it was asked marry it?

We Can't Alope

Why did the melon have commitment issues?

Because he cantaloupe

Why can't melons have shotgun weddings?

They cantaloupe

How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon ?

Melon-collie !

Why were the melons upset when they were denied a marriage license?

Because it means they *cantaloupe*

Why did the couple bring a melon to their honeymoon?

Because they cantaloupe...

Why do melons tend to have large weddings?

They cantaloupe

Why don't melons marry on a whim?

They cantaloupe.

Why do melons always have church weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why did the melon get married in a church?

Because he was in love with a cantaloupe.

Which fruit can never get married?

Melons, because they can'telope.

What do you do if life gives you melons?

You're dyslexic.

Why couldn't the melons secretly get married?

Because they were cant elopes

Why did the melons plan a big wedding?

Because they cantaloupe!

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Not Elope Jokes More Not Elope Jokes

Which fruit wanted to run away and get married, but couldn't?

Cant-elope :D

What did the melon say to his daughter after she tried to get married?

You cant-elope!

Disappoint Jokes More Disappoint Jokes

Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

He thought the ad said '24 carrots'

Why were the twin towers disappointed?

They ordered pepperoni and all they got was plane.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why can't the man take his job seriously?

Because he's a clown! Buh bum tis

What time did the man go to the dentist?

Tooth hurt-y.

Sheepdog Jokes More Sheepdog Jokes

How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon ?

Melon-collie !

What did the sheep say to the sheepdog faking deafness?

You herd me!"

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?

A stega-snore-us.

What do you call a TV reality show where a 50 year old white man is trying to get laid?

To catch a predator. Why do white girls walk around in groups of 3 and 5? Because they can't even! Why do white people have so many pets? Because owning people is not legal anymore Would love to hear more white people-specific jokes :) They seem to be really rare.

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What if aliens are responsible for global warming?

And this is just their way of breaking the ice.

What's black, and breaks into houses?

A wrecking ball

Broccoli Jokes More Broccoli Jokes

What are Kierkegaard's two favourite fruits?

Melon and Broccoli!

What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?

The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Who else would've stolen it?

You think a burglar broke in and was like "Cute top!"

How is Islam like a GPS?

You may think you're on the right path, but if you follow it literally, you'll end up crashing into a building.