What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

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Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

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Where did Nicholas II of Russia get his coffee?

Tsarbucks.

Why can't you have military coup in Russia?

Because in Russia the military coups you.

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What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

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Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Why was the whistleblower late for his annual winter whistleblower's convention?

Because he was Snowden!