Whistleblower Jokes

Why couldn't the whistleblower pick up his dry-cleaning?

Because he was Snowden! (Snowed in)

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What do you call a whistleblower stuck in a blizzard?

Snowd-en

Why do we feel like whistleblowers right now?

Because we're Snowedin.

What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his driveway?

Because he was snowed in.

Why was the whistleblower late for his annual winter whistleblower's convention?

Because he was Snowden!

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

Because he was Snowden

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Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden. (I'll see myself out)

What the NSA say to NASA?

You're a day late and a dolla short!

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Why does the Italian pasta maker always get locked out of his house?

because he has gnocchi

What is the best use for a wet dog?

x-post from /r/MeanJokes Getting the smell of white people out of your house.

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What do you call an Oyster who is stuck in traffic?

A: A PearlJam

Why did the dentist divorce the manicurist?

She tried to stick her finger in his cavity.

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What do you call a skeleton with blonde hair in a closet?

Last year's winner of the blonde "hide and go seek" contest

What did the three holes in the ground say?

Well, well, well My grandpa's favorite joke. Took me five years to get it.

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Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Russia?

He was snowed in.

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

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Why does Washington DC stink?

Because of the B O

Why did the "Ringling Bros." Circus finally go out of business?

They couldn't compete with the circus in Washington DC any longer.

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How do you know if a Korean gang robbed your house?

Because all the rice is gone, and three hours later, they are still trying to back out of your driveway.

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.

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What do you call a government official that can't leave an airport because of a blizzard?

Edward Snowed In

How do you find will smith in a blizzard?

Look for fresh prince