What do you call a man holding two apples in one hand and three oranges in another?

No chance of blocking an uppercut.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?

A: He holds it in the air and the world revolves around him

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What'll happen if a piano is dropped on a man?

He will B flat

Why do men stare at a woman's breasts?

To prove they can focus on two things at once.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple?

Worm your way out of that one then!

How do you milk sheeps?

With Apple accessories.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you do if a girl sits on your hand?

Try to get her off!

Why did Helen Keller mastutbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other.

Block Jokes More Block Jokes

Whats up?

Me:Onion prices. S:You know what I mean,like What's crackin' M:Nutshells. S:Really Fine.What's poppin M:Corn. *Blocked*

How does Jennifer Lopez like her cheese?

From the block.

Orange Jokes More Orange Jokes

What did the banana say to the orange?

Fruit can't talk

Why couldn't the apple speak to the orange ?

because he didn't know Mandarin

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

How did Watson and crick blow their chance with a hot girl?

They said, "baby you'd look good if you got a pair of skinny genes"

Why do the /r/jokes moderators like chess?

It's the only chance they have to mate.