When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Peewee Herman have in common?

They were both caught with hands in their drawers.

Why can't the T-rex clap its hands?

Because it's dead.

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What did the judge say when the defendant cause a ruckus in vegetable court?

Bay leaf get him out if here!

What did the picture say to the Judge?

I WAS FRAMED! I just now made that up. I feel good about this one! Skip

English Jokes More English Jokes

What did the bobby (English policeman) say to the hitchhiker with three heads, no arms and one leg?

Ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, 'op in."

Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?

First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare

English Teacher Jokes More English Teacher Jokes

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.

Long Sentence Jokes More Long Sentence Jokes

What's the worlds longest sentence?

I do.

How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.