What is your emergency?

Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What's the difference between a Pilot and a jet engine?

A jet engine stops whining after it lands

Why did the masochist STOP hitting himself on the head with a hammer ?

Because it hurt.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Why do the ladies love Jesus?

This joke makes more sense if you can see it in person, but we'll give it a shot, anyway. Use your imagination. Why do the ladies love Jesus? Because he was hung like this!

What did the executioner say to the prisoner?

Hang on a minute."

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

What is the difference between 9/11 and landscaping?

Landscaping is an outside job.

How many questions did the politician answer?

9/11

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Who sings "Love me tender" and makes Christmas toys?

Santa's little Elvis.

What's roughly 6 inches long, has a head on it, and women love it so much that they often blow it?

A 20 dollar bill

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

Why is mustard good to have in case of an emergency?

It's always prepared.

Why do women and children evacuate first in an emergency?

So the men can go on Reddit and repost this joke.