What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time . . .

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time does Sean Connery attend the Wimbeldon?

tenish.

What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time?

I'm Thor

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

What do you call a bus driver who helps old people and parents with children on and off the bus?

A stand up driver.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Whatcha doing?

Me: "Going on twitter to hang out." H: "Twitter is an app, not a place." Me: *whispers venomously* "Is too a place!!"

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

Sin Jokes More Sin Jokes

What does a Muslim man call a girl he is living in sin with?

Haram bea

What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time . . .

Padre Jokes More Padre Jokes

What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time . . .

What do Mike Piazza, and an altar boy have in common?

They were both catchers for the Padres.

Nickel Jokes More Nickel Jokes

Who gave you the nickel?

She said "They all did".

Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn't?

The dime had more cents.