What's love?

Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do anemic people drink?

Pale ale

What did the depressed philosopher say?

I drink because I am.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday?

Because they like to pumpkin. I'll see myself out...

What do troll mathematicians like to solve?

Parabolems?

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver?

Because she was a woman

Which is the month in which women talk the least?

February... because it has the least number of days

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why does Peter Pan always fly?

He Neverlands. I really love this joke because it never grows old!

Why do women love chocolate?

Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What do you say to your sister when she's crying?

Are you having a crisis?

Why don't robots have any brothers anymore?

Because they have trans-sisters.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

Why should you never shout at a pirate?

Because it hurts their buccaneers. (Sorry it's lame, I just made it up)

I got hit in the head by a soda can, but it didn't hurt that much...

It was a soft drink.

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

Why does it take you forever to text me back?

3 hours later* Her: What are you talking about