What's love?

Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What will you be drinking?

Harambe: I'll have a beer Me: No, he'll have just ice Bartender: Just ice Me: Yes. Justice for Harambe.

Why do sailors drink so much?

We sleep better when the room is moving

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Which punchline do you like better?

What do you call a nun that sleep-walks a) A Roamin' Catholic b) An unconscious habit

What can you do if you don't like the Prelude in C Sharp Minor?

A: Turn Rachmanin off.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman with one leg?

Ilene What do you call an Asian woman with one leg? Irene

Why aren't there more women in STEM?

Because they're stupid and illiterate.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do NBA players like poultry?

Because they love to slam duck!

How do you measure love?

In hertz!

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What did the pirate say to his sister?

Aye sis

What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot?

Ow, mitosis!

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

Why did the hipster's mouth hurt?

Because he ate pizza before it was cool.

Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea of love?

If you're dying to be hurt so badly, I've got a baseball bat for that.

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What state has the highest cell phone bills?

A: Text-us

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.