What's the appropriate age to take the electric shock collar off your kid?

My son's 10 years... hold on... OFF THE COUCH! brb... convulsing.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why doesn't democracy work in china?

Because no one wants to hold an erection.

How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two: One to hold it one to hammer it in.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's going on?

Me: The kids gave me this *holds up Dad Is #1 mug* W: That's sweet H: Sweet They think I'm pee!

What's the difference between Ice Age 4 and Batman The Dark Knight?

The kids walked out of Ice Age 4... Alive

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What is the difference between a black man and a couch?

A couch can support a family

What did the couch say to the armchair?

Don't worry, I pull out.

10 Year Jokes More 10 Year Jokes

What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You stop milking a cow after 10 years.

What's the difference between a cow and September 11?

You stop milking a cow after 10 years.