What's the thing u don't tell a vampire?

Bite me.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do you call a scientist that measures things in space?

A cosmetrologist.

Why does Yoda like having a lot of things to do?

It makes his Dagobah faster.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a girls tinder profile is fake?

They're attractive!

What do you tell a metal head who's walking on an icy street?

Slip not.

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

What did the time traveller do after he ate the last bite of his dinner?

He went back 4 seconds.

Why is a toothless dog like a tree?

It has more bark than bite.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What does a vampire call a used tampon?

A teabag.

What do vampires make sandwiches out of?

Self-raising dead.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

How do you spell "we" with two letters without using the letters W and E?

U and I.

How do u know if a company that just hired you conducts drug tests?

What is the likelihood it will be a hairtest