What's this for?

He asked. "A pay rise." I replied. "My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

How many wife's does a catholic priest allowed to have?

Nun

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why did the midget get slapped?

Because he told a woman how nice her hair smelled.

How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny?

By the egg on its face.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

What's the hardest part about working as a nurse or doctor at a women's hospital?

When you ask the patients "what's the problem " They'll say "nothing"

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

Why do black men wear baggy trousers?

Because their knee grows.

What do you call a French cow that grows sprouts instead of fur?

Chia LaBeouf

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Which side is it best to lie on?

she asked. "The side that pays your fee" replied the doctor.

When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."