What's this for?

He asked. "A pay rise." I replied. "My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.

What did the musician say to his wife when he went out to the supermarket?

I'm going Chopin, I'll be Bach in a minuet.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you tell a mathematician if he does drugs?

You're high-on-pot...enuse. Thanks Key&Peele, I'll see myself out.

What's the best way to make friends?

tell a woman you love her and she says "i think we're just friends..."

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What asks no question but demands an answer?

A doorbell or a ringing telephone.

How did the coprophilic marine respond when asked what the most important thing in life was?

Duty. Honor.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What's the only thing that grows in Oakland?

A: The Crime Rate!

What kind of tree grows in your hand?

A palm tree.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

What you got there?

Not sure", replies the fellow, "But you have got to try-a-lil'-bite!"