When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Papers?

answer "Scissors." then drive away..

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Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What is ISIS's favorite type of text?

Is the answer: A: Heading B: Heading C: Heading

What's the difference between toilet paper and the shower curtain?

So you're the one.... (only if you answered "i don't know")

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why should a good driver always carry weed in his car?

So he always hits the green when he's driving.

What do I look for in a car?

A sound-proof cabin so I can sing every rap lyric regardless of the neighborhood I'm driving through.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich?

Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP.

Why Colonel had a bunch of underwears ?

Because, Brigadier General asked him to debrief his team.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

How can you tell if a black woman is pregnant?

When she pulls the tampon out the cotton is already picked.

What do you do if a blonde person throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

What is the difference between a Mexican and a book?

A book has papers.

Why did the paper follow the pencil?

Because it LED THE WAY! I'm on a roll here! this is fun! Skip

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

Who's driving the car?

Theres a muslim a mexican and black guy in a car, whos driving .. **The cops**

Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?

Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.

Scissor Jokes More Scissor Jokes

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one, except she scissors it in.

Why does it take 10 women with premenstrual tension to change a light bulb?

IT JUST DOES, OK JERK !!!! NOW SHUT UP OR I WILL STAB YOU WITH THE SCISSORS!