When she got in front of the judge he asked, "first offender?

She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking?

Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What did the irritated man say to his inguinal hernia?

Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)

Why did Mary Magdalene have an affair with Jesus?

She heard about his second coming

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What did the picture say to the Judge?

I WAS FRAMED! I just now made that up. I feel good about this one! Skip

What did the judge say to the attractive woman soaked in pee?

You're an eight.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

if I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.

When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?

Not yet," she replied

Offender Jokes More Offender Jokes

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven is a six offender.

What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

Fender Jokes More Fender Jokes

When she got in front of the judge he asked, "first offender?

She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."

What do you call a guitar that has completely changed parts?

Trans-Fender.