Offender Jokes

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven is a six offender.

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Why is 6 scared of 7?

Cause 7 is a six offender

Why was four afraid of five?

Because five was a six offender

What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

When she got in front of the judge he asked, "first offender?

She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when a bull and a horse go to a bar?

They get BUCKED up!

What happened at the funeral of the man who invented the USB?

They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again.

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

What do you call a retard covered in water?

Flame retardant

Why was the Chinese Journey cover band a failure?

Their only hit was Don't Stop Bereaving.

Tumblr Jokes More Tumblr Jokes

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

Laugh Matter Jokes More Laugh Matter Jokes

Why can't Californians stop at stop signs?

I don't know and this is not a laughing matter.

Why was the 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a registered six offender... that's not a laughing matter...

Vegan Jokes More Vegan Jokes

What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza?

Skinning the vegan.

What did the plant say to the vegan?

Leaf me alone.

Tumblrina Jokes More Tumblrina Jokes

Why was the tumblrina mad at the gamer?

He was pushing the right trigger.

What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything?

A bunch of offended Tumblrinas

Seven Jokes More Seven Jokes

What's a sailor's favorite solvent?

the Seven Cs.

Why were the Seven Dwarfs kicked out of the bar?

Because they were Miners... XD

Counter Jokes More Counter Jokes

What'll it be kid?

Seal plops a five on the counter and says "Anything but a Canadian Club."

How would you order a Subway footlong in metric countries where they don't have feet?

By crawling to the counter " GET OUT