Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say "do you know who I am?

because while I wait I like to be introspective

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between a deaf person and my wife?

I don't know.

How do you know the rules of football was written by an Italian?

You switch sides at half time.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call a guy who likes telling "dad jokes"?

A "groan" man...

What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?

A hemogoblin. I came up with this during lecture after a dyslexic moment, thought someone may like it.

Restaurant Jokes More Restaurant Jokes

What would you call a restaurant for anorexics?

The Empty Plate...

What's the difference between reddit and resturant ?

Restaurants have better servers.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What do bees do if they want to use public transport ?

Wait at a buzz stop !

What's with the knives?

Wait, stop. Please stop!" - pumpkin