Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say "do you know who I am?

because while I wait I like to be introspective

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if you are a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood

Why did John keep on finding cracker crumbs in his bed?

His wife didn't know any decent crackers.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts?

A: A hobby horse.

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork.

Restaurant Jokes More Restaurant Jokes

What is the worst dinosaur to take to a restaurant?

A pretentious connoisseurous.

Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?

Because he had a very large bill.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What is a guy who rubs bear toes called?

Rob...wait for it... erto! Rubeartoe!

Why I'm Breaking Up With You" Him: Wait, what the--?

Me: Please hold all questions until the end.