Restaurant Jokes

Why did the teddy bear leave the restaurant?

He was stuffed.

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What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?

Spare ribs.

Why did the scientist get punched in the restaurant?

He ordered some NaCl.

Why was the powerlifter fired from his job at the restaurant?

He was awesome at cleaning the bar, but he wouldn't stop jerking it.

What did the newly paroled French prisoner name his restaurant?

Attempted Crepe

Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

What did the Hawaiian terrorists say when they blew up a restaurant?

ALOHA SNACKBAR

What would you call a restaurant for anorexics?

The Empty Plate...

What is the worst dinosaur to take to a restaurant?

A pretentious connoisseurous.

What do you call a grenade thrown into a restaurant in France?

French Toast.

Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant?

They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, "That'll be $5". I should be able to say, "That'll be a sandwich."

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Why did the soccer player have to ask for a bib at the restaurant?

Because he was Messi

Why did the restaurant on the moon fail?

They barely had any atmosphere.

Why is the Statue of Liberty a woman?

Because the head had to be empty in order to build a restaurant.

Why did the bird go to the restaurant?

Tweet!

How do dogs order eggs at restaurants?

A: Pooched.

Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

There was no atmosphere

When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".

Why was the restaurant called "Out of this World"?

Because it was full of Unidentified Frying Objects.

What's the definition of a cannibal?

Some who goes into a restaurant and orders a waiter!

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

Why Arent You Taking Me With You To Bangkok?

Husband: Because Nobody Carries A Tiffin To A Restaurant. "If U Didn't Get It Go Watch Pogo":p

What restaurant does a fast food worker/hacker work at?

HackDonalds.

What did the Mexican... What did the Mexican man order at the country musician themed restaurant?

A Reba!

What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?

McBongald's

What's the difference between reddit and resturant ?

Restaurants have better servers.

What did the redditor do at the restaurant when he was done with his meal?

Tips waitress*

What do you call a vampire who owns a restaurant?

Count Spatula

Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say "do you know who I am?

because while I wait I like to be introspective

Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant?

Because he got cold feet.

What's a bulimic cheerleaders favourite restaurant?

In'n'Out Burger

Why couldn't the Italian chef get into his restaurant?

Gnocchi.

How do you identify the head waitress at a restaurant?

She's the one wearing knee pads.

What does Harambe order when he goes to a restaurant?

He gets the kids meal.

Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?

Because he had a very large bill.

Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials?

Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.

Where did the API go to eat?

To the RESTaurant.

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Peak Jokes More Peak Jokes

What did the tree say to the mountain?

A: Stop peaking at me.

What's worse than peaking in high school?

Climaxing to middle schoolers.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

How do you stop your water from running?

Stop paying the bill.

Why don't white supremacist drink the water in Central America?

Because it's Nicaragua

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

What's the difference between an immigrant &amp a book?

One of them has papers.

Pirate Favorite Restaurant Jokes More Pirate Favorite Restaurant Jokes

What is a pirate's favorite restaurant?

Arrrrrrby's

What be a pirate's favorite restaurant?

You'd think it was Arby's, but it's actually Long John Silver's.

Spare Rib Jokes More Spare Rib Jokes

What's a skeleton's favorite dish?

Spare ribs

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?

Spare ribs.

Scientist Jokes More Scientist Jokes

Why did the scientist take off his doorbell?

because he wanted to win the "Nobel" prize!

Why couldn't the scientist understand what the photon was saying?

Because the photon was incoherent.

Mexican Restaurant Jokes More Mexican Restaurant Jokes

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

I've bean everywhere, ma'am!

What do a yoga instructor and a Mexican restaurant that only serves water have in common?

No ms te!

Teddy Bear Jokes More Teddy Bear Jokes

Why did the teddy bear leave the restaurant?

He was stuffed.

What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig ?

A teddy boar !