Teddy Bear Jokes

Why did the teddy bear leave the restaurant?

He was stuffed.

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What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig ?

A teddy boar !

What do teddy bears like to have in their houses?

A: Fur-niture.

Why do you never see a Teddy bear ordering dessert?

Cus they are always stuffed.

What did the teddy bear say after dinner?

I'm stuffed."

What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?

A: No thanks, I'm stuffed.

How do you hire a teddy bear?

Put him on stilts !

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He was a ghoulsnif fer.

Why is Congress like a cold?

Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose).

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When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

Why were the people in the Twin Towers so upset about their pizza order?

They ordered pepperoni but all they got was plane.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What do Ted Bundy and the Space Shuttle Colombia have in common?

They both left bodies in four states.

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit !

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How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me" .

What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand?

hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING ! ! !

Favourite Pasta Jokes More Favourite Pasta Jokes

What's a teddy bears favourite pasta ?

Tagliateddy !

What's a polar bears favourite pasta?

Penguini!

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a member of the Westboro Baptist Church?

a retarded gorilla

What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food ?

Snakes and Larders !sna

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

When is a pig an ecologist?

When he recycles garbage into ham.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What are two things dinosaurs can't have for dinner?

Breakfast and lunch. I'll show myself out now

What do you call a Mexican ready-meal?

Dinner for Juan