Where do puppies go when they die?

Back into the microwave so I can get in another round.

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Puppy Jokes More Puppy Jokes

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

What did the puppy say when it sat on sandpaper?

Ruff

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What is WILL.I.AM going to be called after he dies?

WILL.I.WAS

What did Tupac say when his best friend died?

No Biggie.

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

What's the difference between a microwave and a Muslim?

A microwave doesn't blow up every time the timer goes off.

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the dead baby in my microwave?

Isaac Newton died a virgin

Round Jokes More Round Jokes

How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf?

A: Depends on how many were photographed.

How many volunteers do we have for the army?

384 sir" "okay round them up" "400 sir"