What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the dead baby in my microwave?

Isaac Newton died a virgin

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through his opening monologue without laughing

What's the difference between the Rockettes and a troop of acrobats?

One is a cunning array of stunts.

Virgin Jokes More Virgin Jokes

What do Harvard and a virgin have in common?

You try so hard to get in but 9 months later you regret you ever came.

How do you tell if a girl in Nebraska is a virgin?

She can outrun her brothers... *mic drop* "I'm out..."

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do cemeteries have fences around them?

Because people are dying to get in.

What dies a little, when explained about?

A joke.

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

Why don't you put eggs in a microwave?

Because they eggsplode. :D

What scratches the window before it explodes?

A baby in a microwave

Dead Baby Jokes More Dead Baby Jokes

How many dead babies does it take to fill up my house?

One more.

Whats red, white, and hangs from a telephone pole?

A dead baby shot out of a snowblower.

Isaac Newton Jokes More Isaac Newton Jokes

Why didn't Isaac Newton drink wine?

He knew better than to drink and derive.

Why was Sir Isaac Newton buried at Westminster Abbey?

Because he was dead.