Why are people who suffers from insomnia so excited at the moment?

They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas

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People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are most Hotwheel cars Ford?

So people can grow up getting used to pushing a Ford.

Why do happy people like to sleep in late?

Because they aren't mourning people. I just made this up!! Could you all help me with the wording? It feels like it could be a little better I just don't know how to word it differently while using the same "mourning" pun as the punch line.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

What are apricots?

Where monkeys sleep.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What does an orphan get for Christmas?

Really lonely.

What's the most popular wine at Christmas?

I don't like sprouts!"

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What do you call a brunette and three blondes in a corner?

A: You don't you see if you've got 3 condoms.

What are 3 naked woman on a crate of beer?

In the way!

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

What Did MLK Say When Asked If He Suffered From Jock Itch?

I have a cream.

Moment Jokes More Moment Jokes

What is the most deadliest breakfast?

Ebola cereal. Note: Got it from my stepbrother who has his moments.

What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?

A: The letter "m."

Insomnia Jokes More Insomnia Jokes

Why does Thor have insomnia?

He's up all night to get Loki.

Why couldn't the guy with insomnia have an affair with anyone's wife?

Because he couldn't sleep with anyone.