Why couldn't the guy with insomnia have an affair with anyone's wife?

Because he couldn't sleep with anyone.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Where are the posters?

WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! In other room *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*

What do my wife and a chest freezer have in common?

The exterior is hot, but its cold as ice inside.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the mummy cry himself to sleep every night?

Because he was empty inside.

How's a fart and a teenager alike?

Because once you go to sleep, you can't trust either of them to not sneak out.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean?

Bob

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint.

Insomnia Jokes More Insomnia Jokes

What does it mean to be an Agnostic with insomnia and dyslexia?

You stay up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Why couldn't the guy with insomnia have an affair with anyone's wife?

Because he couldn't sleep with anyone.

Affair Jokes More Affair Jokes

Why did Mary Magdalene have an affair with Jesus?

She heard about his second coming

What is the best definition of irony?

irony irne/ noun a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.