Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.

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How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.

What do you call ten sets of bagpipes at the bottom of the sea?

A start.

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What happened to the two zombies who went on a date?

They had a mantic** time.

What's the difference between a zombie and a redneck?

One is a brainless, dirty, slow moving abomination, and the other is a zombie.

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What did the slaughterhouse foreman say when he found out his best butcher had his heart, lungs and kidneys ripped out in a cutter accident?

That's offal

What did the vegetarian do to get ripped?

He juiced...

Sheet Music Jokes More Sheet Music Jokes

How do you get a guitar player to shut up?

Put sheet music in front of him

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.