Sheet Music Jokes

How do you get a guitar player to shut up?

Put sheet music in front of him

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How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp?

Give him sheet music.

How do you confuse a drummer?

Give him sheet music

What's the best way to get your guitar player to turn down the volume?

Give him the sheet music.

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.

Why did the composer spend all his time in bed?

He wrote sheet music.

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Rip Jokes More Rip Jokes

How did the farmer feel after he ripped his clothing?

Let's just say he felt overall sadness.

Where did Christ get his ripped abs?

Cross fit

Amp Jokes More Amp Jokes

What's the difference between a church bell &amp a church?

A church bell peals from the steeple.

What famous actor costs an arm &amp a leg to hire?

ARMold SchwarzenLEGger

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?

A nun with a javelin in her throat. (The only joke I can ever recall when asked for one. Told to me by my art teacher in Grade 11. Needless to say, he was my favourite teacher)

How many pollocks does it take to paint a house?

1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

What is the difference between a barking dog and an umbrella?

The umbrella can be shut up.

Why was Jesus I such good shape?

Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why are burglars such good tennis players ?

Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts !

Why won't a black man go see a 3d movie?

He'd rather spend his money on a forty

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What starts with "M" ends with "arriage" and recently made me the happiest man on earth?

Miscarriage

How much liquor does it take before you start telling racist jokes?

For me, it's about three fifths.

Drummer Jokes More Drummer Jokes

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. They have a machine that does that now.

What's the difference between a drummer and shoes in a dryer?

Nothing.

Composer Jokes More Composer Jokes

How does a composer remember which groceries to buy?

She writes a Chopin Liszt.

What did Schwarzenegger say when deciding which composer to be for Halloween?

I'll be Bach.