What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in a washing machine it doesn't text you every hour for a week.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between and out-law and an in-law?

One's wanted.

What is the difference between my car and Whitney Houston?

My car can hit 50.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Hour Jokes More Hour Jokes

Where do you think you're going at this hour?

gun hangs head & turns around

What do you call a bike in NYC that has been standing out in the sun for hours?

Tire-less

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

Which day of the week do ghosts like best?

Moandays.

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise ?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper !

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

How do you keep an idiot busy?

loading...

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

Why is r/Jokes only text, and forbids external links?

Because black people can't be offended if they're only reading jokes.

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister-Matic

What do you do when your washing machine breaks down?

Give her a slap

Surrey Jokes More Surrey Jokes

What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in a washing machine it doesn't text you every hour for a week.

What river separates China and India?

Answer: the Fraser River (which separates Richmond and Surrey)