Why Do Republican Couples Keep A Copy Of Ronald Reagan's Biography Next To Their Bed?

So that it can be used as an

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl?

Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What gun do you use to hunt a moose?

A moosecut!

What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uni-ball

Copy Jokes More Copy Jokes

Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

How would you describe the woman who attacked you?

Describes mother* *Gets a copy of picture* *Gives it to mum as late birthday present*

Ronald Reagan Jokes More Ronald Reagan Jokes

What is Ronald Reagan's favourite vegetable?

James Brady.

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"