Why Do Republican Couples Keep A Copy Of Ronald Reagan's Biography Next To Their Bed?

So that it can be used as an

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How do you stop a black guy from jumping on a bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl?

Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What's that coffee drink with icecream?

I used to know it, but... Affogato.

When you guys describe me to your families do you use the word tigress?

I'd prefer if you included tigress

Copy Jokes More Copy Jokes

Why do you have a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in your bathroom?

Perv! Me: Oh. No that's just for when I run out of toilet paper.

Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

Ronald Reagan Jokes More Ronald Reagan Jokes

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

What does Ronald Reagan have that Jimmy Carter doesn't?

A widow.