Why do you have to pee so quickly after you start drinking beer?

Because it doesn't have to stop off to change color!

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do you call a nun who's drinking a pint?

Catholic

How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in the socket and the other to drink until the room starts spinning!

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Where do you go when you start up a videogame about Noodles?

To the lo mein menu

How do you turn lead into gold?

Start a war.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food?

He wanted something to get his teeth into.

What does a dyslexic tiger and a bus driver have in common?

A bus driver can't change his stops.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?

change??

How many X does it take to change a light bulb?

N! One to change the light bulb, and n-1 to display stereotypical behavioral traits of X!

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

How many Mormons does it take to drink a 12 pack of beer?

One if nobody is watching.

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

Color Jokes More Color Jokes

What's wrong with a chameleon that can't change colors?

He has a reptile dysfunction.

How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear?

Color coded: "Yellow in front, brown in the back"

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Why do women have trouble peeing in the morning?

You ever tried to open a grilled cheese sandwich