How do you turn lead into gold?

Start a war.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did the accountant go crazy?

He started to hear invoices in his head.

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

War Jokes More War Jokes

Why does the French flag have Velcro?

So the blue and red sections are easily removed during a time of war.

Which war had the most overweight soldiers?

VietNOMNOMNOM

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How many Apple executives does it take to change a light bulb?

They dont. They turn it into the hype of the new generation.

Why does time go by so fast in Italy?

Because every time you turn around you see a dago by.

Gold Jokes More Gold Jokes

What's better than winning gold in the Paralympics?

Having a pair of legs...... I know, I know, I'm going to hell

What do pirates say when they find buried treasure?

Thanks for the gold!

Lead Jokes More Lead Jokes

What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?

Do the math! Me: Seriously ! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow

Why were Democrats in the lead early on?

Republicans weren't off of work yet.