Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars?

Because it's his only chance to open the door to Number 10!

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Door Jokes More Door Jokes

How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?

Knock on the door.

How do you know when the drummer has shown up for band practice?

He won't stop banging at the door.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Which program do Jedi use to open PDF-files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi

Why were the ants dancing on top of the jar of jam?

It said "twist to open"

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why are urologists selfish?

Because they're all about number one

What are the odds I could find the sum of numbers from 1-100?

I'd say it's fifty fifty

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

What do you call a blind, legless buck?

No eye-deer. EDIT: I totally messed this joke up. Please give me another chance with another joke

What do sperm and politicians have in common?

About 1 in every 500 or 600 million have a chance at becoming human.