Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf?

Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Why should you never trust someone straight after coitus?

Usually they're lying

Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed?

Because he is lying.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why aren't you working?

Me: I didn't see you coming!

What do you call a security guard who works at Samsung?

a Guardian of the Galaxy

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why was little Billy so sad when his friends played on the swingset?

He had no arms. Sorry that joke was stupid, let me try again. Knock Knock "Whose there?" Not Billy

Why does Ellen Pao play so much tennis?

Its the only place she can get love.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

Why did the knife quit?

It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! Skip

Involve Jokes More Involve Jokes

Why was the baseball player arrested?

He was involved in a hit-and-run.

What do you call a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, Chris Brown doesn't want you getting involved in his personal life

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What do a sperm and a lawyer have in common?

A 1 in 3,000,000 chance of becoming a human being.

Why do Steven Avery's victims see him naked from the waist down?

Because his lawyers keep filing away his briefs.

Golf Jokes More Golf Jokes

Why do married men love golf so much?

Because it's not the same three holes over and over again.

Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing?

In case you get a hole in one.