Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat?

You use a spirit level.

What do Mexicans use to slice pizza?

Little Caesers

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What do you call a flexible Rastafarian who lies a lot?

Cinnamon twist

What's Irish and lies around in the sun all day?

Patty O'Furniture.

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would the hulk do?

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

What happens when you die?

Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

Whats th first joke you remember hearing or that you told as a kid?

Mine is: What is the white stuff in bird poop? (That is also bird poop.) edit: til you can't edit the topic to fix spelling errors...

What is the definition of a Freudian slip?

when you say one thing and mean a mother. Don't remember where I heard it. Haven't read it here yet.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

Why do the Germans use commas in place of decimal points?

Because it makes 6,000,000 seem like a much smaller number.

What places have the least racial tensions?

Bakeries, there are brownies and crackers there and yet they never fight.

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

My Favorite, When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

How was copper wire invented ?

One copper coin, two dwarves.

Device Jokes More Device Jokes

What's the difference between USA and USB?

One connects to all your devices & accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!