Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How did 1337 Jesus escape his tomb?

X-Post from ProgrammerHumor) He used an encrypted key.

What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety?

Past tense.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What signal tells you that a politician is lying?

The lips are moving

Why was Cinderella kicked out of Walt Disney World?

Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and told him to start telling lies.

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

What is your line of business?

Me mumbling: Treason stuff. Cop: Louder for the microphone. Me: Trees 'n' stuff. Gardening.

Why did the teddy bear leave the restaurant?

He was stuffed.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What do you call a thirsty cow?

A watermeloin.. Don't worry, I remember where the door is.

Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?

A: So brunettes can remember them.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

How many feminists do you need to replace a lightbulb?

Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her.

What is Nitrate?

Girl: My place, 250...your place 400!

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

Why did man invent the shipping cart?

To teach women how to stand on their hind legs.

Why wasn't the aeroplane invented in China?

Because two Wongs don't make a Wright.

Device Jokes More Device Jokes

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

What did one device say to the other?

A: Are you syncing what I"m syncing