Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why can't America ever win a chess tournament?

Because they're missing two towers

Where are the posters?

WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! In other room *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the yoga teacher say when someone asked if she wanted to leave the party early?

Namaste

What are your expectations?

Me : Job. Interviewer : I mean what do you want from this job Me : Salary

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

Why did the updraft get pulled over?

It was speeding in a high shear zone

What happens when something travels faster than the speed of light?

Does it matter?

America Jokes More America Jokes

What's the worst gear for America?

Cruz control.

Why do pill bottles have cotton in them?

To remind blacks in America that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.

Motorist Jokes More Motorist Jokes

Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?

Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.

Why are you driving without a license?

Motorist: Because it was revoked months ago.