Action Jokes

What would happen if James Bond took Viagra?

He would continue to be a state-sponsored terrorist whose actions disgrace us all.

This joke may have profanity.

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What do you call an action of copyright law against a ghost?

An exor- .

What's the difference between feminism and Islam?

One is demonized by the actions and beliefs of a small minority. The other believes in the wage gap myth.

Why don't baseball players get much action?

Because they have foul balls.

What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action?

A: An inj-oink-tion.

What do you call the action of a banker buying weed?

A dank transaction

Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him?

He stung her into action.

What do you call the action where a dead guy falls out of a car and you have to put him back in?

A rehearsal

Why did the librarian hush the mime?

Because actions speak louder than words.

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Sequence Jokes More Sequence Jokes

What do you get if you ask a former presidential candidate to write a piece of music about a formula for solving a problem based on a sequence of specified actions?

An algorithm.

Why did they release Star Wars 4, 5 & 6 before 1, 2 & 3?

Because off sequence, Yoda was.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

When pigs have a party who jumps out of the cake?

Nobody. The pigs all jump in.

What did the pig say on a hot summer day?

I'm bacon!

Music Jokes More Music Jokes

What kind of music does a printer make?

A paper jam.

What kind of music do they play at Stonehenge?

Hard Rock.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?

What's the difference between an all girls soccer team and a tribe of pygmies?

One is a bunch of cunning runts.

Algorithm Jokes More Algorithm Jokes

What's the difference between a computer program and global warming?

One's an algorithm, and the other's an Al Gore-ism!

How would you describe Al Gore playing the drums?

Algorithm.

Formula Jokes More Formula Jokes

What's a hippy mothers least favorite sport?

Formula one!

What do you get if you ask a former presidential candidate to write a piece of music about a formula for solving a problem based on a sequence of specified actions?

An algorithm.

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

Why are ghosts always just moaning?

Did your manners die too Use your words!

How do ghosts like their chicken cooked?

Terri-fried!

Base Jokes More Base Jokes

Why do people on acid listen to Dubstep?

Because if they didn't drop the base it would be a neutral reaction and they wouldn't feel the psychedelic effects.

What does the DJ do when he spills acid?

He drops the base!