Favourite Jokes

What is a Brit's favorite letter?

You'd think it would be "T", but it is "U". *Favourite, btw.

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How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?

They take a gallop poll!

What's a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment ?

A phantomime !

Who are the hamburgers favourite people?

Vegetarians!

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Microsoft Jokes More Microsoft Jokes

Why didn't Microsoft release Windows 9?

Because Windows 7 ate 9.

Why did Microsoft skip windows 9 and annouce windows 10?

Because windows 7 8 9

Couple Jokes More Couple Jokes

Why are men better cooks than women?

Because with a sausage, a couple of eggs, and some cream, a man can keep a woman full for 9 months.

What did the stork say to the couple?

Sorry mates Im out of babes (its a linguistic joke)

Surfer Jokes More Surfer Jokes

What did the surfer say to David Carradine?

Hang tight

What's a surfers least favourite household appliance?

A Microwave.

Stephen Hawk Jokes More Stephen Hawk Jokes

What's the quietest album in the world?

Stephen Hawking - unplugged

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

What's Sisyphus' least favourite type of music?

Rock and Roll.

What did one rock say to the other?

Ha, you really think rocks can talk

Guest Jokes More Guest Jokes

Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral?

The guest of honor always shows up late!

What happens when you take the tea away from your guest?

He's left there trying to "guess" what happened.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do bad writers use to pick up hot pans?

Plot Holders.

What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Christmas is over?

OC (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby....Jesus.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why dont blind people go skydiving?

It scares the hell out of the dog.

What did the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac do?

Lay awake in bed wondering if there really is a dog.