Microsoft Jokes

What's Justin Timberlake's favourite Microsoft Word alignment?

Justified. (NB Sincerely hoping that this is actually original)

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What do Microsoft updates and Brock Turner have in common?

They install at night, while you are asleep, without consent.

Why is apple afraid of microsoft?

because 7 8 10

Which phone??

Person 1 : Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2 : Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1 : So what about summers then? Person 2 : Same, it freezes often as well

Why did Microsoft go straight to Windows 10 and skip 9?

Because Windows 8 9.

Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper?

Because Jesus saves.

Why didn't Microsoft release Windows 9?

Because Windows 7 ate 9.

Why did microsoft go straight to windows 10 ?

They were trying to keep their german market.

Why did microsoft go directly to windows 10?

Because windows 7 8 9

Why isn't there a Windows 9?

Hey Microsoft, why is there no Windows 9? You've given us 7 and 8, and now you're skipping straight to 10?" "Well, to be completely honest, 7 8 9."

What's your favourite food if you hate Microsoft Word?

TeX-MeX

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Why did Microsoft skip windows 9?

Because 7 ate 9

Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

They revived to much XP

Why is Microsoft going straight to Windows 10?

Because 7.. 8.. 9

Why did Microsoft skip to windows 10?

Because 7 8 9.

Why won't Microsoft hire any maids?

Because they don't do Windows

Why is Microsoft skipping Windows 9?

Because Windows 7 8 9

What would a scandal involving Microsoft be called?

Gatesgate.

Why did Microsoft go straight to Windows 10?

Because 7 8 9

Why is Microsoft coming out with a windows 10 instead of 9?

Because 7 8 9

Why did Microsoft name their new operating system Windows 10?

Because Windows 7 8 9!

Why is the new OS from Microsoft called Windows 10?

Because 7 ate 9.

Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to 10?

Because Windows 7 ate 9!!! :D

Why did Microsoft jump from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

Because Windows 7, 8 9.....

What company spent over $6.2 billion in buying Viagra?

Microsoft

This joke may have profanity.

How do you greet an overweight Micronesian when you're trying to sound cool?

Microsoft Word.

Why are Microsoft circuit boards so bad?

They use French resistors.

Why did Microsoft skip straight to 10?

Because Windows 7, 8, 9. I'll see myself out.

Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9 and go straight to 10?

Because seven "ate" nine.

How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

What does it take to break a Nokia phone?

Microsoft.

Why did Microsoft skip a number when naming their new operating system?

Because 7 ate 9.

How is Microsoft like Bob Marley?

I do updates before I do updates. And then I do updates.

How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard.

How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.

How soft is Bill Gate's pillow?

Microsoft.

What does his wife call it?

Microsoft.

Who's Microsoft's favorite musician?

Adele

Why did Microsoft name their new web browser "Edge"?

Because people familiar with the U2 guitarist of the same name are already used to long delays.

What does it say on the door of the Microsoft store?

No shirt, no shoes, no Surface.

Who has the better search engine: Yahoo, Google, or Microsoft?

I dunno. Let's google it!

What did Bill Gate's wife say to him on their wedding night?

No wonder you called the company Microsoft

Why is Microsoft skipping Windows 9 and going straight to Windows 10?

Because 7 8 9!

Why couldn't Bill Gates get any girls?

His hardware was Microsoft

What does Bill Gates call his manhood?

Microsoft.

What kind of cereal does Microsoft make?

Wind O's

What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly?

Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.

Why did Microsoft go straight from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

BECAUSE SEVEN ATE NINE *drops mic*

Why did Microsoft skip windows 9 and annouce windows 10?

Because windows 7 8 9

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9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

Why is Yoda afraid of 7?

Because 9, 7 8.

What did the blonde think of the new computer?

A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.

Nb Jokes More Nb Jokes

What's Justin Timberlake's favourite Microsoft Word alignment?

Justified. (NB Sincerely hoping that this is actually original)

Where do Canadians play Basketball?

In the NB - "eh"

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What do you call someone who keeps trying to catch your interest even though you already said you're not interested several times?

Windows 10.

What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer?

They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.

German Jokes More German Jokes

Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese?

Because for them, it is a Wurst-Kase scenario.

What do you call the german version of Harry Potter?

Heinrich Potter, and the chamber of gas.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What kind of bird can write?

A penguin.

How is life in North Korea?

I wrote to my North Korean pen pal "I can't complain" he wrote back.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What did the muslim telemarketer say when he picked up the phone?

Halal?

What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving?

For me it's three weeks.

Skip Jokes More Skip Jokes

How do you stop a charging bull?

Take away its credit card!*** wa-waa-waaaa! Skip

Why did Jesus get a ticket?

He tried to skip the Cross walk.

7 8 10 Jokes More 7 8 10 Jokes

Why was Windows afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 10.

Why is apple afraid of microsoft?

because 7 8 10