Muppet Jokes

What are the Muppet's views on the paranormal?

It's a phenomena (do doo do doodoo)"

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What do you call bacon wrapped frog legs?

The Muppets

What do you get when you cross a muppet with the Loch Ness monster?

Messie Thank you and goodnight.

Which Muppet Are You?

quiz.

Who's the most self-centered Muppet?

Beaker. All he says is "Me Me Me."

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Center Jokes More Center Jokes

What did off-center say to tilted?

I don't know either he told me to askew!"

What do you call a hump-backed cow that always wants to be the center of attention?

A drama-dairy.

Shape Jokes More Shape Jokes

Who's there ! Brent ! Brent who ?

Brent out of shape !

What did the cow say when she saw the Dalmatian?

Dam... I got to get in shape!

Phenomenon Jokes More Phenomenon Jokes

What term is used to describe a phenomenon where a European mans ejaculates prematurely?

Pole Position

What did quantum consciousness say to its son?

Your awareness differentiates to the expansion of experiences and freedom impacts the expression of the phenomena in reality to quantum belonging.

Goodnight Jokes More Goodnight Jokes

Why didn't the scientist tell his colleague the t-value of a test with 21 degrees of freedom and a p-value of 5%?

It was a t-crit! Thank you and goodnight!

What do you get when you cross a muppet with the Loch Ness monster?

Messie Thank you and goodnight.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the Mbius strip?

To get to the same side.

How is crossing an intersection like going to jail?

If you're a white man, you're free to walk.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why do the French have so many civil wars?

So they can win one every now and again. (Thanks, John Cleese! This was too good not to share.)

What did Jesus say to Melchior?

Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!

Air Jokes More Air Jokes

What's the difference between a tennis ball and the prince of Wales?

One is heir to the throne and the other is thrown into the air.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Whats black and hurts when you get it thrown in your face?

A Piano.

What do you do if someone is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw your laundry in.