Quark Jokes

Why didn't the physicist like his cheesecake?

Because the quark had a strange flavour

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What did the duck say after it split the atom ?

Quark ! Quark !

What does a subatomic duck say?

Quark!"

What does a posh duck say?

Quark.

What did the astrophysicist say to the quark?

You matter.

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Quark Quark Jokes More Quark Quark Jokes

What does the ducks in Cern say?

Quark Quark

What does the quantum duck say?

Quark Quark

World Jokes More World Jokes

What is the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole.

What goes all around the world but stays in one corner the entire time?

Stamps!

Split Jokes More Split Jokes

Why did the programmer's girlfriend move back home so quickly?

She returned because all he ever did was split her in the middle for log(n) time.

Why was the necrophiliac depressed?

His rotten girlfriend split on him.

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

What do ducks use to get high?

Quack cocaine

What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig?

A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

Atom Jokes More Atom Jokes

Why are atoms untrustworthy?

They make up everything. Credit to from an askreddit thread about what not to trust.

Why should you distrust atoms?

Because they make up an awful lot of stuff. EDIT: Because I forgot about neutrinos.

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

What dance moves do physicists do?

the torque

What did the physicist have for lunch?

Fission chips.

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

What's better: A Parachute Jump or a BJ of a 90 year old?

doesn't matter... must not look down..

Astrophysicist Jokes More Astrophysicist Jokes

What did the astrophysicist say to the quark?

You matter.

Why are astrophysicists always nervous before they launch a new satellite?

It can be a very Hubble-ing experience. These jokes may not be funny for you, but they are Fermi.