Rodent Jokes

What do you call a rodent that sells illegal guns?

An Armadealer

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What do rodents with an inclination towards mathematics use for their auctioning needs?

thepiratebay

What do rodents do after dinner?

Gopher a walk.

What do rodents say when they play bingo ?

Eyes down for a full mouse' !

What do you say to a guy who is covered in rodents?

Mice outfit!

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Terminator Jokes More Terminator Jokes

How do you catch a terminator?

With a skynet

What do you get when you cross Hilter, the Terminator, and Cthulhu?

Don't stick around to find out!

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

How do you get in the 'Public Urination Club'?

Walk up to the nearest police officer and you're in.

What do you call an arrogant prisoner walking down the stairs?

Condescending. )

Infest Jokes More Infest Jokes

Whats yellow and dangerous?

Shark infested custard

What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous?

Shark infested mashed potatoes.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why didn't Stalin look both ways before he crossed the road?

He was rushin'

What did grandpa say before he kicked the bucket?

How far do you think i can kick this bucket Also, Why did the chicken cross the road He was in the bucket(/spoiler)

Christmas Time Jokes More Christmas Time Jokes

What's the difference between a dead baby and mistletoe?

I don't hang mistletoe at Christmas time

What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time ?

Cross mouse cards !

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Why don't emus ever finish all the food on their plates?

They don't want to be ostrich-sized!

What do you call a small dog that can store food?

Pupperware

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many baby sitters does it take to change a light bulb?

None They don't make Pampers small enough.

How many depressed people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who cares...

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

How do you make a cat bark like a dog?

Cover it in lighter fluid and throw a match at it: "WOOF!"

What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

The Adhomineminal Snowman