Rodent Jokes

What do you call a rodent that sells illegal guns?

An Armadealer

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What do rodents with an inclination towards mathematics use for their auctioning needs?

thepiratebay

What do rodents do after dinner?

Gopher a walk.

What do rodents say when they play bingo ?

Eyes down for a full mouse' !

What do you say to a guy who is covered in rodents?

Mice outfit!

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Christmas Time Jokes More Christmas Time Jokes

What's the difference between a dead baby and mistletoe?

I don't hang mistletoe at Christmas time

What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time ?

Cross mouse cards !

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did Spock find in the Enterprise Bathroom?

The Captain's Log.

What's the stupidest animal you can find in a jungle?

A polar bear.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the black child cross the road?

To get to the other side

What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog ?

A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

What's "saying grace?

Me: It's when we thank the one who provided our food. 4-year-old: We thank the microwave

What do you call a rotten lamb chop?

Food gone ba-a-a-a-a-ad.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wanna go ride bikes?

How many bears does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

The bear minimum

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Brexiters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Woah woah woah... I never said there was a lightbulb!

Why does it take two premenstrual women to change a light bulb?

BECAUSE!!

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What has three eyes, three hands, and three legs?

Two pirates

What has six legs two arms four eyes and a tail?

A man holding an aardvark.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?

One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.

How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes one, but we weren't able to get the work done in 1 term because we inherited a really bad situation from the prior administration.