How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?

One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why couldn't Elsa hold on to a balloon?

She would always let it go.

What do you call a man holding a machine gun?

Sir

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many psychiatrists does it... ...take to change a light bulb?

0, the light bulb has to want to change itself.

What does a vegetable use to change a flat?

Asparagus...

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many light bulbs does it take to change a man?

Just one, if you put it in the right place.

How many old-timey gangsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: We ain't sayin' nuthin'.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Why do so many Australian men experience premature ejeculation?

Because they cant wait to get out and tell all their friends about scoring.

What are we waiting for?

the doctor asks. "Patients, Doctor," replied the nurse. "Patients."

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What did you learn in school today Son: How to write Mother: What did you write?

Son: I don't know they haven't taught us how to read yet!

What do your mother and a marathon have in common?

They are both doable as long as you don't mind following a bunch of black guys.

Law Jokes More Law Jokes

What do lawyers wear to court?

Law suits!

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

Revolve Jokes More Revolve Jokes

How many Kardashians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one as the rest of the world simply MUST revolve around them...

How does Kanye West screw in a lightbulb?

He holds the lightbulb and the world revolves around him.