Shopping Jokes

Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

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Where do Siths do their shopping?

At the Darth Mall

Where does a Sith Lord do their shopping?

The Maul.

Where did the ghost go shopping?

At the BOO-tique

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Foil Jokes More Foil Jokes

How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping?

An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel.

What did the Illuminati say when they tried to read someone's mind, but failed to do so?

Curses, foiled again!"

Captain Hook Jokes More Captain Hook Jokes

What was the former name of captain Hook?

Captain Hand

Why did Captain Hook cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

Who answers the Crime Stoppers Hotline?

Stymied Coppers

What would Chewbacca do?

And the answer is always, "Make that gargly roaring sound." So that's what I do.

Raman Jokes More Raman Jokes

What does a noodle say after praying?

Ramen

How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping?

An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel.

Green Light Jokes More Green Light Jokes

What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

What did the green light say to the red light?

I love you, but I'm sick of yellow light always breaking us up.

Beyonce Jokes More Beyonce Jokes

What do you get if you encase Beyonce in rubber and drop her off a cliff?

Bouncy Beyonce.

Why does Beyonce say "To the left, to the left"?

Because black people have no rights.

Second Hand Shop Jokes More Second Hand Shop Jokes

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

A: To get to the second hand shop.

What did the big hairy monster do when he lost a hand?

He went to the second-hand shop.

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?

Abominable! (say it out loud, slowly)

What do you feed a disappearing cat?

Evaporated milk