How can I waste ten seconds of someone's time and make total strangers hate me?

Credit card chip inventor - Me, writing tweets

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why is hip hop popular among urban youth?

because it's the only time a black man can tell a crowd of white people to put their hands in the air.

What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver?

Time to get a new watchdog.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods?

Teenagers these days be all "I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."

Why does Mario hate Punchbug?

Because he bruises like-a Peach!

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What happens when you get more than you payed for with a Mexican Gigolo?

The second coming of Jess.

What's better than getting second place at the special Olympics?

Not being retarded

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What are you doing?

Are you writing down everything I'm saying ! IS THIS GONNA BE A SONG ! !" -anyone dating Taylor Swift

What type of writing makes the most money?

Ransom notes.

Waste Jokes More Waste Jokes

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

Why was the nun named "NPN"?

She was a trans-sister! I'm so sorry for wasting your precious mouse clicks on that god-awful joke

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

What does a 500 pound parakeet say?

TWEET!!!

What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...