Waste Jokes

What's the difference between a Pokemon Go player and a Facebook user??

Pokemon Go players are only wasting their own time )

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Why fart and waste it?

When you can burp and taste it.

What does Reddit and Dating have in common?

It wastes your time and you walk away with either tears or a slight chuckle.

What do you call the statistics for the total amount of waste produced by the US this year?

Gross

How do you call 4 blacks in a car falling off the cliff?

A waste. You could fit 1 more in the trunk.

What is it called when a bunch of people, all under 5'2", go to a raging party?

High wasted shorts!

Why do Electricians make terrible revolutionaries?

They know resistance is a waste of energy.

What do you do in the bathroom if you are trying to waste time?

Stall

Why was the nun named "NPN"?

She was a trans-sister! I'm so sorry for wasting your precious mouse clicks on that god-awful joke

Why shouldn't you wear a watch on your belt?

It'd be a waste of time.

What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?

Well, this was a waste of Thyme."

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How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

What do you get when you combine an excess of waste and recycling?

r/jokes

How can I waste ten seconds of someone's time and make total strangers hate me?

Credit card chip inventor - Me, writing tweets

Why is George R.R. Martin really bad at using Twitter?

There's a limit to how many characters you are allowed to waste.

What is dumber than the Blonde jokes above?

A: Me for wasting hours editing and typing these damn things.

What's the best response when someone wastes your time?

Answers below please.

What do you call a blonde lesbian?

A: A waste.

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

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Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce?

Well, I'm guessing it's because the other fifty percent can't afford lawyers.

What did the lawyer say after the short trial?

That was a brief case.

Resistance Jokes More Resistance Jokes

What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?

Resistance if feudal

What do you call a love story between resistance and energy?

Omhmeo and Jouleiet

Energy Jokes More Energy Jokes

What do you call a love story between resistance and energy?

Omhmeo and Jouleiet

Why did the felon have so much energy?

He was well arrested!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

The guy would survive the first round.

What's the difference between a Walnut and a Chickpea?

I've never had a Walnut on my chest..

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did the cannibal go to KFC?

He heard it was finger licking good.

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

How did the group of 4 dogs win the golf tournament?

They combined for 16 paws.

Why did a scientist disconnect his doorbell?

because he wanted to win the No-bell prize!! Sorry, I ll walk out

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time does Sean Connery go to the US Open?

Tennish

Which rappers had a flow that could simultaneously speed up and slow down at the same time?

MC Escher

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What is the most environmentally friendly game company?

The three that make Call of Duty; They've recycled their ONLY GAME, every year for the past 7 years.

How many seconds are in a year?

Only 12. One for every month.