How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

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Save Jokes More Save Jokes

What's the difference between Joe Paterno and Harambe?

Harambe tried to save the kids.

What bounces and makes kids cry?

The cheque I just sent to Save the Children.

Puppy Jokes More Puppy Jokes

What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

What's worse than a puppy nailed to a tree?

A puppy nailed to 7 trees.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the Pepsi executive get fired?

He tested positive for Coke.

What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months?

A: An Apple turnover.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

What's Lisbeth's twin sister's name who enjoys spending time on the internet?

Elizabeth.

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

Litter Jokes More Litter Jokes

Why did the mother cat pick up her kittens?

She didn't want to litter

What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

Why was that guy yelling at you?

flashback to me ignoring the "one per customer" sign me with a mouthful of cheese samples No idea

How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

Rollercoaster Jokes More Rollercoaster Jokes

How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

What did Napoleon say on the rollercoaster?

Ouiiiiiiii!